Since I moved to Boston, I’ve been spending a lot of time on public transit. The biggest benefit for me is having that time free to do things that aren’t driving. I sit and think, I fidget, and- most often- I read. I like to work on books as I ride, so much so that when I don’t read, I don’t always know where I am.
I consider it a point of pride that I spend time with my nose in a book on the bus, and not on my phone. So many others on the bus use their commute to browse Facebook, check Instagram, or Tweet. And while I don’t judge them for it, I find that I am very hard on myself when I use my commute to do that. I noticed it today- when I pull my phone out instead of my latest book (The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin), I feel badly, sometimes even ashamed.
The question I can’t answer is, why? Why am I so hard on myself about something so insignificant?
I don’t know that I have an answer, but I do know that it’s indicative of the harsh way I sometimes treat myself. It reminded me of the image above, and the question of why we treat ourselves so much worse than we would ever treat another person. Maybe it’s because we’re around ourselves so much more than we are around anyone else. Or maybe it’s because we’re taught to be polite to others far more than we are to ourselves. But whatever the reason, I want to reverse the trend. I want to be nice to myself. And I’m going to make a serious effort to do so. It won’t change overnight, I know. But maybe the next time I take my phone out instead of a book, I won’t be so quick to scold.
What are you hard on yourself about? Why do you think you do it? What will you do to be nice to yourself?